Friendly Advice
by ChibiLovett
Summary: Moxxi is bored out of her mind since nothing much of interest ever seems to happen anymore. When she gets a visit from some old friends and discovers they're now dating, she decides to offer up a little advice. Janey/Athena, rated T for the advice itself,


Moxxi sat behind the counter, wiping in repeating circles with a rag. It had been a fairly quiet night; so quiet that she was almost hoping for a bar fight just to liven the place up a bit. It had been a few months since Jack's defeat, so the celebratory drinks had long since stopped. All of the vault hunters new and old, by far the most interesting people in this little town, were always gone on missions. Once in a while one would come in, usually Mordecai, but they'd usually drink and run. She stopped wiping and sat the rag aside before laying one arm flat while holding her chin with the other hand. She sighed, then looked up at the entrance, and immediately perked up. There were two familiar faces she hadn't seen in a long time. One of them she had hoped she wouldn't ever again, but judging by the way they were interacting, she was probably safe from random passes and flirting. "Athena? Janey? What are you two doing here?"

The two sat down at the bar. Athena, who was out of her usual armor in and in normal clothes, was the first to speak. "We came by to tell Mordecai something, but he's apparently gone for the moment. Janey saw your sign and wanted to come say hi."

Janey smiled and waved at her. "It's been a long time, Moxxi! How have you been?"

Moxxi began to get a little nervous that she had misjudged the situation. "Fine. Just bored out of my mind most of the time." She sighed. "When a cheater in a dart game is the highlight of your day, that's saying something."

"Oh wow...that's a bit sad. Also, don't worry, I won't be asking for your number or anything." Janey grinned over at the woman next to her, who did the same, then looked back at Moxxi. "I got me a vault hunter instead." She giggled. 

Moxxi smiled and clapped her hands together. "Awwww! That is so sweet! You're so cute together!"

Janey wrapped her arm around Athena's shoulder and pulled her in with a huge grin. "I know, right?!"

Moxxi giggled, then laid both elbows on the table and rested her head in her hands. She got a mischievous grin and looked from one woman to the other. "You know, if you ever need any new ideas to spice things up, I'm always happy to give a little eh...friendly advice."

"Oh I'm sure you could. God knows how much experience you've had." Athena chuckled. "And you might be good with robots and technology, but we all know where your true creativity lies."

"Who says they can't intertwine?" Moxxi winked. She had definitely combined the two numerous times in the past. It could make things even more interesting.

Both women raised an eyebrow, both curious, but both also almost scared to ask just what she had done in the past with the two together. They looked at each other, then Janey spoke first to the woman behind the counter. "Yeahhhhh, you can keep at least those ones to yourself."

"Alright, but remember, it's always more fun the more adventurous you are."

"I'm pretty sure we're good without anything technological in our nether regions, thanks." Athena said.

"Well it's not like that's the only thing I've known how to do. Believe me, I'm no more of a stranger to a woman's body than I am a man's, and no one has complained yet."

"Well," Athena began, "I suppose maybe a few smaller suggestions wouldn't hurt, since you seem to want to so badly."

Moxxi's grin widened. "Okay, well there's this one thing I did a lot with one girl and it was so much fun!" You've got to..." She held two fingers up in each hand and moved them around together to show them what they needed to do with their legs. "...and then, after all of that, you put your leg here, and you put yours here, or whoever is in each place, and you do this one last time and it's practically guaranteed that you'll get off right there!"

Both women stared wide-eyed and Athena blushed a bit. "You want us to do ALL of that?"

"I don't know if I can bend that way," Janey stated, imitating what Moxxi did with her own fingers, "or that way."

"Well, I suppose it helped that I was with an acrobat at the time. Okay okay, um...do you ever use toys or play games?"

"Not very often, but sometimes, I suppose." Athena responded.

"Do you have a gun on you?"

They both got a little worried. "Yes," Athena said nervously.

"Can I see it?" Athena gave her a pistol she had strapped to her waist. "Just a moment." She reached under the counter and grabbed a screwdriver and messed with a few things in the gun's inner workings. She reached under the counter again and pulled a trigger off of another, already broken gun, then stuck it into Athena's. She held it up and pulled the new trigger, making it vibrate. "Voila!"

"And just what do you expect us to do with that?" Janey asked, a little scared of the answer.

"You hold it where you'll be massaging yourself, then try target practice. If you miss too many times, you have to please the other, but if you don't, then they have to please you, both in any way the one being pleased wants you to with no argument." She giggled. "It's really quite fun, and nothing will train your aim better for actual combat, not to mention train you in whatever your partner likes."

"That...actually isn't a bad idea." Athena took her gun back and pulled the second trigger, which was placed so that you could easily pull both at once. She looked over at Janey and grinned slightly. "You get to try first."

"But my aim is shit!"

"Exactly." Athena let go of the trigger and put the gun back in its spot at her waist.

This time, Janey blushed. "Fine, but you get to do it after!"

"Alright. Have fun getting me twice."

Moxxi smiled again and held her hands up to her chin. "Aww, aren't you two just adorable?" She giggled. "Do you want any more ideas, or is that good?"

"I think we're good for now, but we'll come back if things start getting boring." Athena took Janey's hand and kissed it. "For now, what to you say we go find Mordecai so we can hurry up and get home?"

Janey smiled and kissed her cheek. "Sounds lovely!"

Moxxi made shooing motions with her hands. "Go on, you two lovebirds! Do what you need to, then go have some fun in your love nest." She winked.

"We will, don't worry. Thanks for the idea."

"No problem at all, sugar. I'm always happy to play cupid from time to time. And here!" She grabbed a wine bottle that had been gathering dust for a while since no one ever wanted anything weak and fruity like that around here, then handed it to Athena. "Make it even more fun. On the house."

Athena looked surprised as she took the bottle. "Really?"

"Of course! That thing's never going to be sold anyways. Someone may as well get some use out of it."

"Well thank you again, then."

Janey reached across the counter and hugged Moxxi. "We'll have to visit again sometime! I miss that painted face of yours." She giggled.

Moxxi hugged her back, liking the woman a bit more already now that she wasn't incessantly hitting on her. "You should. It's boring around here and you two have definitely livened it up for the night." She then pulled out of the hug and blew a kiss to Athena. "See you both later then, and uh, have fun with target practice."

"We will." Athena took Janey's hand and they left the bar, waving as they exited.

Moxxi smiled, then noticed that most of the remaining patrons were staring at her. "What? I was just giving them a little advice."

"That was sure some advice, lady."

"Yeah, I'd like to see what kind of advice you've got for me in private!"

"Maybe you could give some REAL demonstrations, eh?! Hahaha!"

Moxxi rolled her eyes. "Just get back to your drinking." She paused. "Although, if you're lucky, I might give you all a teaser one of these nights." She smirked and winked at the last one to comment, then went back to her usual duties, ignoring the hooting and catcalling that followed. It would definitely liven up the place again, so perhaps she'd have to dip her toes into her old business once again. She was never a hooker or anything of the sort, but she was a performer. Maybe a little show now and then would pick things up on nights when she didn't get random visits from old friends. Time to start practicing.


End file.
